Some Humor

Occasionally we as humans need to laugh and smile so here is some of both for you!

An old couple were sitting in Church and the wife noticed
that people were staring at her.

She leaned across to her husband and whispered, "I've just
let go a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"

He said, "I think you should get fresh batteries for your
hearing aid."


The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance
company. "Do you have a second mortgage on your home?"

"No," I replied.

"Would you like to consolidate all your debts?"

"I really don't have any," I said.

"How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he tried.

"I don't need any. I just recently had some done and paid
cash," I parried.

There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you
looking for a husband?"


I recently picked a new doctor. After a couple visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well'
for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist
asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"

"Oh, no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued
ribs?"

I said, "No, my last doctor said that all red meat is very
unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf,
sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of
sex?"

"No," I said.

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you even give a shit?"